Thursday, December 19, 2013

The Book of Me - Message in a Bottle (Kleenex Alert)

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselvesGo to for more information.

This week's assignment:

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.

This week’s prompt is for week 16 – Message in a Bottle
• If you were to physically write or virtually write a message to place into a bottle what would you write?
• Do you live by the sea and are able to potentially throw into the Ocean? Or perhaps a river
• Do you feel strongly that you would not "litter" in this way - in which case you may complete the task virtually
• What would you like to happen with the message?
○ Do you hope it is picked up somewhere, miles from home?
○ Are you going to create a secret email account in case it is picked up and someone
• Or would you like to write an anonymous note to someone that you know
• Or write a message to deceased loved one?

Hmm....what does one write when you have no idea who the recipient of your message will be?  To me, this task is something like tearing a page out of your diary  and letting a stranger read it.  It has the potential to be quite intimate.

No, I don't live near the sea (central Arkansas is pretty landlocked.)

I decided on the last suggestion...a message to a deceased loved one.  Here goes...kleenex ready?

Dear Rylee,

I'm so sorry I didn't get to meet you before you went to Heaven.  The thought of becoming a grandma was a joyful one, and your mommy is devastated to have lost you, as am I.  I saw your little body forming on the sonogram, and I heard your heartbeat, and that's all it took for me to fall in love with you.  We never knew for sure if you were a girl, but your mommy sure thinks so, so Rylee it is.

Rylee, I'm sure God has told you that your mommy tried to have babies two years ago, through in-vitro fertilization.  She had twins that went to Heaven almost immediately.  They didn't make it as far as you did.  Have you met them yet?  Please tell them that we love them and how sorry we are that we have to wait to see them.  Your mommy was told she could never conceive a baby...her tubes were blocked.  So you can imagine how surprised and thrilled we all were when we found out about you!

But God had other plans for you, much to our grief and disappointment. Your mommy and daddy, and me and your grandpa, we were all so excited about you coming along so miraculously.  Even though mommy was very fatigued and sick as most pregnant women are, she sure was thrilled about you coming along. She was happy about giving up her flat belly to make room for you.

Even though we lost you too soon, baby Rylee, you have given us joy along with our pain.  We now know that there's a chance that your mommy can have other babies.  Your daddy...well, he's amazing and he loves your mommy so much.  The process of finding out about you, then losing you, helped your parents know that they belong together.

So dear little baby Rylee, know that you were loved sight unseen, that we know we will see you in Heaven one day, and please look out for your siblings.  And please ask God to watch over your mommy as she recovers from losing you... help all of us in our grief.  I had no idea I would love you so much before I even had a chance to hold you.  I still cry sometimes, but I know God just wanted you to be with Him and it's a much better place than here.  I will love you forever.

Love, your grandma,

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