The Book of Me, Part 14 - My Fantasy Family Dinner Party

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.

This week's assignment builds from last week's:

If you had to hold a dinner party and could invite a maximum of 12 special people who would you invite?

This week You CAN include family.

What meals would you serve and why.

Fantastic!  Since I've been working on genealogy and specifically researching my own family tree for nearly two years now, there's people I would invite to my dinner party that I didn't know existed until recently.  I want to know so much!

Me and Grandpa, cir. 1960
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013 All Rights Reserved

Of course, first on the list is my beloved grandfather, Carl Johnson.  My mother was an only child of parents who divorced when she was very young, and Carl raised her on his own.  (My grandmother moved away to remarry and basically abandoned my mother.)  I want to thank him for being so loving, encouraging and kind, and tell him what a huge influence he had on my life, even though I only had him for 12 years.  I want to know more about his childhood, his life with my mother and even with my grandmother.  And to reiterate that I love him and miss him every day of my life.

Eva Barski, cir. 1940's
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013
All Rights Reserved

Second would be my father's mother, Eva.  She died of cancer before my parents were married, so of course I never got meet her.  She lost her father when she was a young child, left her homeland of Austria with her mother to come to the United States, with basically nothing.  How did she meet my dad's father?  What was my dad like when he was kid?  What did she think of my mother?  I also want some of her recipes that my dad was always trying to recreate.

My Aunt Elaine, Cousin Walt, g-grandmother Suzanna, grandmother Eva
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013 All Rights Reserved

I also would like to meet Eva's mother, Suzanna.  What courage it must have taken to leave your homeland, with only what you could carry, after losing your husband,
and having young children.  How did you cope?  From where did you draw your strength?  I never met you, but I admire you nonetheless.

Next on the list is my dad's father, Thomas, Eva's husband.

Thomas Barski Sr.
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013
All Rights Reserved

 I met him only twice, and found him to be mean-spirited, rude and certainly not interested in me or my siblings.  I would ask him what made him become so bitter, or had he been that way his whole life?  I know he lost his mother at a very young age, and gained a stepmother shortly thereafter.  It must have been difficult.  How did he meet my grandmother, Eva?  Did he enjoy being a parent?  Why was he so disinterested in us?

John Barski Sr. cir. 1945
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013
All Rights Reserved

 Staying with the Barski side of the family, I would invite my great-grandfather, John Barski Sr.  He was born in Poland, came to the U.S. to work in the coal mines, eventually settling in Wisconsin as a farmer.  His first wife, Stella, my great-grandmother, died in childbirth, leaving him with three young sons.  John remarried and had two more sons, whom I did not know existed until recently.  What was his early life in Poland like?  How did he cope with losing his wife? Was his life in the U.S. a happy one? Was his original name really Barski?  I can't find any records of his birth, parentage, etc.  I want to thank him for having the courage to leave all that was familiar to start a life here.

Of course, while asking these long lost relatives all of these questions, I would have to include my brother Tom, my husband Don, and my daughter Kristen.

My brother Tom & wife Cindy
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013
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My brother Tom has to be there to learn about the people and events which helped to shape our everyday life in our childhood.  Perhaps knowing of the tragedies, losses and hardships would help us better understand why our parents acted the way they did.  Tom is a wonderful brother--he and I are very close.  He turned out well, too.  He's intelligent, hard-working, honest, funny, imaginative and as passionate about sports as I am (actually, much more).  He hit the jackpot when he married Cindy, whom I love tremendously.  She puts up with his quirks, his irrational reactions to sporting events, and is sweet, loving and thoughtful.  How lucky I am to have her in the family.

My beloved husband, Don
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013
All Rights Reserved

My husband Don is my rock in life.  We were married when my daughter (from my first marriage) was 3-1/2.  He raised her as his own.  Although I was thin and healthy when we got married, once I got sick, gained weight, became unable to do many things because of my illness, he has never complained.  He takes care of me.  Everything he does, his first thought is how it will impact me.  Is he perfect? No.  Do we ever argue? Sure. But he has put up with me as I have gone through counseling to deal with my difficult childhood and adult relationship with my parents, and loves my friends as much as I do.  He would (and has) do anything for me, and is a model of unconditional love.  He would have to be at my party, because he is the world to me.

My precious daughter Kristen with me, cir. 1991 (her first dance recital)
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013
All Rights Reserved

She may be 28 now, but I remember every detail about my daughter Kristen that there is to know.  I remember taking my home pregnancy test, hearing her heartbeat for the first time, and all 22 hours of labor before my c-section.  Her first smile is etched in my mind.  She has been the center of my universe since I first held her.  Unfortunately, when she reached about age 13, I ceased to be the center of her universe, and that is difficult for the mother of an only child.  But she is the light of my life, and she always will be.  No matter how long we live, she will always be my baby, and I love her dearly.  She is beautiful, intelligent, funny and turned out pretty well, and I'm proud to be her mom.

Cooking?  Heck no, let's go to the Berghoff in Chicago--true German food with great ambience and even German waiters. 

While I do envy some people for the idyllic childhoods they lived and the ongoing loving relationships they have with their parents, I am blessed because all I have lived and survived has made me appreciate what I have now.  Thank you to those family members who came before me, for giving me a life that I am blessed to have.