The Book of Me, Part 15: SNOW!

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

This week's assignment:

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.

SNOW!

Do you live in area where you routinely have snow?
How old were you when you first saw snow?
Do you remember it?
Did you make snowmen?
Throw Snowballs
Sledge Rides
What is the image that first came to mind when you read snow?
What does snow 
feel like, 
smell like 
how do you see snow 

I grew up in Chicago.  I know snow.  My first memory of snow being a problem was in January of 1967, when Chicago was hit by a blizzard, and had its all-time record single storm snow total of nearly 2 feet.  My sister was 2-1/2, and once the driveway was shoveled, the piles were higher than her.  My brother and I loved it because it meant no school!  The other thing I remember was getting into the family station wagon and crawling to the grocery store, where all we could buy was powdered milk and frozen bread dough.  I don't recall feeling any sense of hardship over it, but I was only 9, and I'm sure my parents had a different perspective.

photo courtesy of photobucket.com

When I was a kid, I loved snow.  Our yard had lots of trees, and it was so pretty to see the snow sticking to the trees, making everything so quiet with its dampening of the streets.  We built forts, snowmen, and of course, snow angels.  Boy, did I have to a lot to learn.

Fast-forward to 1979.  I was in college, living in an apartment, working multiple jobs, and learning quickly how hard adult life can be.  According to the National Weather Service, the average annual snowfall for the Chicago area is about 34 inches.  That year, it was nearly 90 inches!  It would fall, a foot or more at a time, and then the temperature would plummet, hardening the snow into an icy mass that was nearly impossible to shovel.

To give you an idea of how bad it was, by the end of January, there was nearly 48 inches of  compacted ice on the ground.  Snow plows cleared parking lots, but the entrances/exits were surrounded by piles of snow over 10 feet high.  People would pull out of a lot and get slammed by an oncoming vehicle, simply because there was no way to see anything until they actually pulled out.  Cars started sporting ornaments on their radio antennas to help improve their chances of being seen.

photo courtesy of Jennifer L. photobucket.com

My apartment complex parking lot was so icy I couldn't walk up the incline to get to my building.  My car, a 1978 Chevy Z-28 Camaro, had a stick shift, and it could not navigate the hill to the parking lot.  So, I had to go stay with my parents (about 15 minutes away,) an experience I had really hoped to avoid. (Have you read any of my other posts?  lol)

Not only was the snowfall extreme, so was the cold.  I think we went about 2 weeks without reaching zero (Fahrenheit.)  At times, the wind chill reached 60 below zero.  It was so cold, my car wouldn't start....not because of the battery, but because the ignition switch, located in the clutch, actually froze.  People were actually dying from being stranded in their cars.

Snow stayed on the ground for so long, it turned black. You had to wear boots, or your shoes would be ruined, not to mention freezing your feet.  You had to scrape your windshield and your back window, and believe me, it took quite a bit of effort.

I made the decision to move south in the early 80's.  I spent 25 years in Texas and now have been in central Arkansas for 3 years.  It snows, but it's usually gone in a day or two (except for last Christmas when we got a foot!)  Ice is much worse.  No one can drive on ice.  Ice brings down power lines and tree limbs....but this is about snow.  Not much of it here, and that's fine by me.

I love Chicago.  It's a great city, and it was a wonderful place to grow up.  If you could just move it about 600 miles south, I'd probably still live there.  Now, I have to love it from afar.

Merry Christmas to all...and if you want it to be a white holiday, I wish that for you.  But for me, I hope it melts on the 26th!

The Book of Me - Message in a Bottle (Kleenex Alert)

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

This week's assignment:

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.

This week’s prompt is for week 16 – Message in a Bottle
• If you were to physically write or virtually write a message to place into a bottle what would you write?
• Do you live by the sea and are able to potentially throw into the Ocean? Or perhaps a river
• Do you feel strongly that you would not "litter" in this way - in which case you may complete the task virtually
• What would you like to happen with the message?
○ Do you hope it is picked up somewhere, miles from home?
○ Are you going to create a secret email account in case it is picked up and someone
• Or would you like to write an anonymous note to someone that you know
• Or write a message to deceased loved one?

Hmm....what does one write when you have no idea who the recipient of your message will be?  To me, this task is something like tearing a page out of your diary  and letting a stranger read it.  It has the potential to be quite intimate.


No, I don't live near the sea (central Arkansas is pretty landlocked.)


I decided on the last suggestion...a message to a deceased loved one.  Here goes...kleenex ready?

Dear Rylee,

I'm so sorry I didn't get to meet you before you went to Heaven.  The thought of becoming a grandma was a joyful one, and your mommy is devastated to have lost you, as am I.  I saw your little body forming on the sonogram, and I heard your heartbeat, and that's all it took for me to fall in love with you.  We never knew for sure if you were a girl, but your mommy sure thinks so, so Rylee it is.

Rylee, I'm sure God has told you that your mommy tried to have babies two years ago, through in-vitro fertilization.  She had twins that went to Heaven almost immediately.  They didn't make it as far as you did.  Have you met them yet?  Please tell them that we love them and how sorry we are that we have to wait to see them.  Your mommy was told she could never conceive a baby...her tubes were blocked.  So you can imagine how surprised and thrilled we all were when we found out about you!

But God had other plans for you, much to our grief and disappointment. Your mommy and daddy, and me and your grandpa, we were all so excited about you coming along so miraculously.  Even though mommy was very fatigued and sick as most pregnant women are, she sure was thrilled about you coming along. She was happy about giving up her flat belly to make room for you.

Even though we lost you too soon, baby Rylee, you have given us joy along with our pain.  We now know that there's a chance that your mommy can have other babies.  Your daddy...well, he's amazing and he loves your mommy so much.  The process of finding out about you, then losing you, helped your parents know that they belong together.

So dear little baby Rylee, know that you were loved sight unseen, that we know we will see you in Heaven one day, and please look out for your siblings.  And please ask God to watch over your mommy as she recovers from losing you... help all of us in our grief.  I had no idea I would love you so much before I even had a chance to hold you.  I still cry sometimes, but I know God just wanted you to be with Him and it's a much better place than here.  I will love you forever.

Love, your grandma,
Linda

The Book of Me, Part 14 - My Fantasy Family Dinner Party

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.

This week's assignment builds from last week's:

If you had to hold a dinner party and could invite a maximum of 12 special people who would you invite?

This week You CAN include family.

What meals would you serve and why.

Fantastic!  Since I've been working on genealogy and specifically researching my own family tree for nearly two years now, there's people I would invite to my dinner party that I didn't know existed until recently.  I want to know so much!

Me and Grandpa, cir. 1960
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013 All Rights Reserved

Of course, first on the list is my beloved grandfather, Carl Johnson.  My mother was an only child of parents who divorced when she was very young, and Carl raised her on his own.  (My grandmother moved away to remarry and basically abandoned my mother.)  I want to thank him for being so loving, encouraging and kind, and tell him what a huge influence he had on my life, even though I only had him for 12 years.  I want to know more about his childhood, his life with my mother and even with my grandmother.  And to reiterate that I love him and miss him every day of my life.

The Book of Me, Part 13: Dinner Party with Special People

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.

This week’s prompt (prompt 13) is Special People / Iconic Figures

If you had to hold a dinner party and could invite a maximum of 12 special people who would you invite?

You can NOT include family in this – the special people could be famous or historical people.

What meals would you serve and why.

Perhaps include the recipe or a photo if you decided to actually cook the items!

So imagine you've won this amazing gift....the ability to invite 12 people (non-related), dead or alive, to a party.  It sounds wonderful, but it's amazing to me what kind of emotions this dredged up, many of them negative.  I'm assuming it's because I'm chronically ill and have been having lots of health issues lately, and I suspect I'm suffering from some depression, and we all know that your entire world view is impacted by that state of mind.  

However, I'm trying to shake it off and dig deep....remembering being asked a similar question in the past, and knowing that there were some people who always made my list.  I've taken off some people that I would just badger, and being the type of people they are, I doubt that their answers to any questions from me would make me feel any better, so I've removed them in an effort to make this more positive.

Know that my requirements for my guests is that speak the truth, and I have the right to send anyone home at any point in the dinner party, either because I don't like them, their answers, or whatever.  It is my house and my party, after all.  Everybody needs to play nice.
I know, without a doubt, that my first choice for a guest would be Jesus.  He is the center of my life, gives me peace and assurance, and of course, my salvation.  Everyone else would be secondary.  I sincerely doubt I would care about the presence of anyone else if He was there. But rather than turn this into a post about my religious beliefs, I'm moving on to the list of other guests, a list, which you'll see, reflects my passion for history, music, sports and some sense of morality:




George Washington  

Image courtesy of
 http://i1026.photobucket.com/albums/
y328/Brutusag84/g_washington_painting.jpg

I want to know about how you and the Founding Fathers established our government, the sacrifices you made, and to tell you how thankful I am for your integrity and dedication to our country. You were offered the title of "King," but turned it down because it went against everything they were trying to accomplish in terms of a democracy.  What do you think of where we are today? Is there hope for us?









Ronald Reagan

Image courtesy of
 http://i77.photobucket.com/albums
/j48/tuff722/Reagan.jpg

I know you made mistakes, but I admire you so much. What led you to become a Republican after years as a Democrat? I want to ask what you would do differently, what your concerns are for the USA, and if you can identify reasons why we've fallen so far as a nation, as compared to when you were in office. I'd also like to know about your and wife Nancy's love affair and how it endured.

Image Courtesy of
http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s267/mantecamisfit209/oswald.jpg

Lee Harvey Oswald
What was your real role in killing JFK? Who else was involved? What was the reason?  You don't get to stay for dinner, by the way.

Photo Courtesy of
http://i1116.photobucket.com/albums
/k569/cinda2/TheCove_0077.jpg

Billy Graham
Help me to love the Lord as much as you do, and be comfortable in sharing my faith. Tell me what you think of the current state of morality (or lack thereof), and how I should responsibly react to it. Give me advice to live a more Christ-like life--resisting temptation, making sacrifices, handling doubt. I love others, and I know that's a big deal--but I want to do more. How did you come to faith, how did you nurture it, and what do you think of today's modern churches and preachers?

Photo Courtesy of
http://i313.photobucket.com/albums/ll380/breakerd2/asdasdasd.jpg

Walter Payton
As a total Chicago Bears (NFL) football fanatic, one of the happiest days of my life was when the Bears won the Super Bowl back in the 1985 season. Walter, you were a workhorse, easily standing out as the star player with, at times, mediocre teammates.  You were denied the opportunity to score a touchdown in that Super Bowl game, a fact that coach Mike Ditka says he regrets to this day. What motivated you, Walter? Do you know how much you continue to mean to Chicago fans everywhere? Just to be in your presence would be an honor for me.  I cried the day you died and miss you to this day.

Photo Courtesy of
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/
g97/JEANRTEAGA/TOM.jpg

Tom Landry (former coach of the Dallas Cowboys)
First, I just want to tell you that although I detest the Cowboys today, when you were in charge, it was a different story.  I admired you, your integrity, your skills and your rules of conduct for your players.  Is there any hope for professional sports?  Now, they're all filled with spoiled rich kids who father countless children, commit felonies, take performance enhancing drugs, play dirty and have egos the size of Texas.  How did it get this way, what would you do, and should I give up on sports?  I'm about ready to.

Photo courtesy of
http://i597.photobucket.com/albums/tt52/
aniipiixfanmermaiid/the_beatles.jpg

The Beatles
To provide the entertainment.  And I'd ask all of you, how did you get your creative motivation?  Are you sorry you broke up? How much did fame change you, and would you do things differently, knowing what you know now?  What do you think of today's music and musicians (for some we use that term rather loosely)?  Please perform "Something," "Yesterday," "In My Life," and "If I Fell" for me, would you please?  You guys are the bomb.  If you're still full of yourselves, however, you don't get dessert.

I thought about including some of today's political leaders but I'm so unhappy with the way they are running our government that I thought it would ruin the party.  Suffice it to say, Mr. President and Congress, administration members (i.e. Secretary of State), foreign leaders, etc., the only conversation you would get from me would be filled with rage and accusations, so I've left you off the guest list.  You're not listening to me or any of the people of this country anyway.

I'm not cooking.  I'll find a good caterer and get some good stuff brought in.  Paul McCartney--I'll make sure there is a fine vegan meal for you.  Better yet,  Jesus could just turn a basket full of fish and bread into a gourmet meal and turn some water into wine.  (He's done that kind of thing before.)  We'll be all set.  But, after re-reading my list, I think I just need guest number 1.  He could answer all the questions anyway (since He is omniscient) and then I wouldn't be limited to any topic.  So in addition to the questions I had for my guests, I'd ask this burning question: Will the Chicago Cubs ever win the World Series again?  1908 was their last championship.  Witnesses to that event are long gone. My late grandfather was 5...so realistically, I knew no one who was there when it happened.  I keep trying to tell myself I don't care, but deep down, I do.  My fellow long-suffering Cub fans can relate.  But of course, there are more important things in life than the Cubs, which is why I invited the guests I did.  I think it will be a great party!  I want to see George Washington dance to the Beatles....

The Story of Me, part 12: The Year of My Birth - 1957

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

This week's assignment:

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.
This week’s prompt (week 12) is The Year of My Birth

What happened....
Historical - internation, national & local
Family events
Films
Music
Books
Television

The year of our Lord 1957...it was a far cry from the world we know today.

On the day I was born, there were a few notable events:

1) The show American Bandstand premiered ("Band from the east, give it at least a 75!")

2) Contemporary Christian singer Michael W. Smith was born.

3) British figure skater Jayne Torvill (who won Olympic gold) was born.

4) I became the first born in my family, the first grandchild on my mother's side, and the apple of my grandfather's eye.

This blogger, November 1957
Copyright 2013 Linda O'Donnell All Rights Reserved

The high in Chicago that day was 66 degrees; a very pleasant autumn day.  My dad operated a Standard Oil gas station in the city; he was quite an accomplished mechanic.


My parents and I, and (later) my brother, were all born in the same hospital and delivered by the same doctor.  My parents' families were not acquainted with each other at the time of their births, so this is a somewhat amazing event and piece of trivia.



In the entertainment world, the following was going on:

1) "Around the World in 80 Days," starring David Niven, won the Best Picture Academy Award.

2) Yul Brynner won the Best Actor Oscar for "The King and I." (He was born to play that role, in my opinion)


3) Ingrid Bergman won the Best Actress award for "Anastasia." (She was always one of my faves.)



4) Other notable films released in 1957:

• Bridge on the River Kwai (Alec Guinness, William Holden)
• 12 Angry Men (Henry Fonda)
• Witness for the Prosecution (Marlene Deitrich, Tyrone Power)
• Old Yeller (Fess Parker, Dorothy McGuire and an adorable canine)

TV:

New Shows: 

• Perry Mason
• Wagon Train
• Leave it to Beaver
• Maverick
• The Tonight Show (Jack Paar)

Popular shows: 

• Phil Silvers
• Candid Camera
• Superman
• This is Your Life
• Ozzie & Harriet
• Gunsmoke
• Howdy Doody
• I Love Lucy (the last season)

Music highlights:

• "Wake Up, Little Susie," The Everly Brothers
• "All Shook Up," "Teddy Bear," "Jailhouse Rock," Elvis Presley
• "That'll Be The Day," Buddy Holly
• "You Send Me," Sam Cooke
• "Love Letters in the Sand," "April Love," Pat Boone
• Elvis Presley registers for the draft.

New Product Introductions:

• Frisbee
• Edsel automobile
• Electric Watch
• Electric Typewriter

Civil Rights:

• Despite a record-setting filibuster lasting 24 hours and 27 minutes by Sen. Strom Thurmond, Congress passed the Civil Rights Act of 1957.
• The Brown v. Board of Education law was passed, regarding desegregation in schools.
• The governor of Arkansas called out the National Guard to stop 9 black students from entering a high school in Little Rock.
• A commercial air flight had its first black pilot, P. H. Young.
• All National League baseball teams integrate.

Disasters

• 8.1 magnitude earthquake strikes Andreanof Islands, Alaska
• Hurricane Audrey kills 416, disrupts offshore oil drilling
• Worldwide influenza pandemic kills 4 million

Food prices

• Milk - $1/gal
• Ground beef - $.30/lb.
• Butter - $.75/lb.
• Campbell's Tomato Soup - $.10/can
• Eggs - $.57/doz.
• Iceberg lettuce - $.19/head

Sports:

• Baseball champions: Milwaukee Braves
• Hockey champions: Montreal Canadiens
• Football champions: Detroit Lions
• Basketball champions: Boston Celtics
• Indy 500 winner: Sam Hanks
• Brooklyn Dodgers, NY Giants (Baseball) announce move to Los Angeles.
• NY narcotics investigator, Dr Herbert Berger, urges AMA to investigate use of stimulating drugs by athletes. (Obviously this wasn't very effective.)

Other Headlines:

• USSR (Russia) launches world's first satellite Sputnik into space; Sputnik II, a month later, successfully carries a dog into orbit (first living being to enter space)
• President Dwight Eisenhower pledges defense of nations against Communism
• The European Common Market is created
• "The Cat in the Hat" by Dr. Seuss is released
• "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac is released
• Actor Humphrey Bogart dies of cancer

Though the world was different in many ways, the winds of change were definitely blowing.   I'm not sure we're in better shape today than we were in 1957, at least in some ways.  In my opinion, the world is moving and changing at a much faster rate today.  Yet many problems that existed back in 1957 persist.  The "Cold War' may have ended, but there is as much conflict worldwide today as ever.  While many efforts were made to erase racial differences, the derision between blacks and whites seems to have increased in recent years.  Americans are more at odds with each other today than they have been for generations.  Our nation's dominance in many areas, including military, finance, agriculture, manufacturing and technology, has waned and I fear this great country has lost sight of the principles established by our founding fathers.  Our civil liberties, the workings of our government, our sense of morality...these are all things I've been watching erode during the course of my lifetime.  I love America, but unless someone or something alters our course, I fear for our future.  

The Book of Me, Part 11: Military Ties

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

This week's assignment:

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.
This week’s prompt (week 11) is Military

• Did you join the military?
Were you encouraged or discouraged?

• Did a family member?
• o Regular or for a particular incident

• Did you or your family serve overseas in the line of Service either during a war or a posting

• Any thoughts, photographs, memories relevant


My father was drafted and served in the U.S. Army during the Korean War.  He was only 19, leaving behind his sweetheart (my mother) and his parents.  He did not speak much of his experiences, and it took me some time after his death to realize that it must have been traumatic for him.

Dad in his high school ROTC uniform, cir. 1946-47
Copyright © 2013 Linda O'Donnell All Rights Reserved

Dad spoke of the intense loneliness when first leaving home, sleeping on a bunk in a room with a bunch of strangers, longing for the comfort and familiarity of home.  He said there were a few guys crying softly that first night, overcome with not only being away from home, but the enormity of the task ahead.  The only other incidents that Dad spoke of were ones that undoubtedly left him changed.  The first was seeing a buddy get shot and killed, right next to him.  I cannot even begin to imagine the emotional trauma it must have caused.

The other incident occurred when my dad was told to take a Jeep and go on patrol.  I don't know the details of where he was going or the ultimate goal of the patrol, but somewhere along the way, the Jeep got stuck in the mud.  Dad was going nowhere.  He was alone, in a hostile country, and had no way to get himself unstuck.  That is, until the snipers started shooting at him.  The fear caused his adrenaline to kick into high gear, and he would tell often tell us how surprised he was that he was able to single-handedly lift the back end of the Jeep out of the mud, and high-tail it out of there.  He always said that an angel helped him out, and I would have to agree.  Dad did suffer from back problems for the rest of his life, though, I often wondered if lifting a Jeep could have done some damage.

Dad, in Korea, cir. 1951
Copyright © 2013 Linda O'Donnell All Rights Reserved

Dad had the added emotional trauma of having to interrupt his service in Korea to return home, because his mother was dying of cancer.  He did arrive in time to see her before she passed, and was able to attend her funeral.  Then, back to Korea, active combat, and suppressing those emotions of loss.  How awful that must have been for him.

Dad on bereavement leave, 1953
Copyright © 2013 Linda O'Donnell All Rights Reserved

My mother, a high school student at the time of my dad's deployment, wrote to him every day, and he wrote back.  I can remember seeing a stack of letters he'd written to her that she'd saved, wrapped in ribbon, with his familiar block printing.  I was embarrassed at the "SWAK" (Sealed With A Kiss)  notation he had on the back of every envelope, and his "Hubba-Hubba" on the front was intended to compel the Post Office to deliver it quickly.  How much they must have missed each other!

I am fortunate in that I've never had to serve.  The Vietnam War ended while I was in high school, so none of my contemporaries were drafted.  My husband, who is nearly 10 years older than me, did serve during the Vietnam era, but was fortunate enough to be stationed in Korea and therefore missed most of the dangerous stuff.  While my father may have had many flaws, I am proud of his service to our country, his lifelong patriotism, and his courage.  I have a deep respect, admiration and gratitude for all of the men and women who serve in our military.  They make great sacrifices, not only by being in danger, but also by being away from their families and loved ones.  It's no cake walk, and I feel a strong sense of indebtedness to our heroes who help keep us safe.

Happy Veteran's Day, and may God bless all military personnel and their families.  And to my dad, who is with the angels now, I'd just like to say, thanks for your service and sacrifice.  

The Book of Me, Part 10: Unexplained Memories

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

This week's assignment:

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.
This week’s (Week 10) prompt is Unexplained Memories

Do you have an unexplained memory or memories?
Items
Places
People

Things and times you can remember, but you are not sure where they fit into your past.

Wow, another hard one.

The first thing that pops into my head when addressing this assignment is the image of my father, standing in the doorway of my bedroom one night, the lit end of his cigarette glowing in the dark.  I am pretending to be asleep, so that he will leave.  There were times when his alcoholism would get the best of him and he'd drag me out of bed for a beating, so I guess that's why this memory has stayed with me.  It was a volatile household, at the mercy of my father's wild mood swings, so we always held our breath, waiting for something to happen.  But, Dad didn't drag me out of bed frequently (only a few times that I specifically recall), so I'm not sure why I remember this incident.  I have no memory of anything happening other than my father just standing there.  I shared a room with my sister, so I'm fairly certain there was nothing of a more sinister nature associated with it.  I don't know how old I was, but I do know it was after we moved into our second house, so I was at least 8.  I'm sure Freud would have something to say about this, but I think it was just a coincidence that I happened to be awake one night when my father popped his head in to check on us.

What's weird is that this triggers another memory, one that I do remember so vividly.  I guess it's because it involves me being in bed at night. It was July 1970. Our beloved Grandpa had been out for a visit the previous weekend to celebrate the Fourth of July.  My brother was in bed in his room, and I in mine, both lying awake when we heard the phone ring at about 9:30 pm.  We heard our mother cry out, "Oh no!" and knew instinctively that something was wrong.  I don't know which one of us said it, but we wondered aloud, "Do you think it could be Grandpa?"  Deep down, we knew it probably was, but we really didn't want to go downstairs and find out.  We wanted to sleep one more night believing that Grandpa was still with us.  In the morning, we found out that the very thing we were dreading was true...Grandpa had died from a massive heart attack.  My brother and I remember that night so vividly--what was playing on the television (Hawaii Five-0), the time, the tone of our mother's voice, and that sense of foreboding we both had regarding the loss of our sweet Grandpa.  Life would never be the same.  I think for both me and my brother, it changed our view of the world, forever. 

I can't think of anything that I haven't figured out an explanation for, or a complete story to go with.   I have questions about things I remember, but alas, no one to answer them for me.  I just need to leave those in the past.