The Book of Me - Message in a Bottle (Kleenex Alert)

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

This week's assignment:

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.

This week’s prompt is for week 16 – Message in a Bottle
• If you were to physically write or virtually write a message to place into a bottle what would you write?
• Do you live by the sea and are able to potentially throw into the Ocean? Or perhaps a river
• Do you feel strongly that you would not "litter" in this way - in which case you may complete the task virtually
• What would you like to happen with the message?
○ Do you hope it is picked up somewhere, miles from home?
○ Are you going to create a secret email account in case it is picked up and someone
• Or would you like to write an anonymous note to someone that you know
• Or write a message to deceased loved one?

Hmm....what does one write when you have no idea who the recipient of your message will be?  To me, this task is something like tearing a page out of your diary  and letting a stranger read it.  It has the potential to be quite intimate.


No, I don't live near the sea (central Arkansas is pretty landlocked.)


I decided on the last suggestion...a message to a deceased loved one.  Here goes...kleenex ready?

Dear Rylee,

I'm so sorry I didn't get to meet you before you went to Heaven.  The thought of becoming a grandma was a joyful one, and your mommy is devastated to have lost you, as am I.  I saw your little body forming on the sonogram, and I heard your heartbeat, and that's all it took for me to fall in love with you.  We never knew for sure if you were a girl, but your mommy sure thinks so, so Rylee it is.

Rylee, I'm sure God has told you that your mommy tried to have babies two years ago, through in-vitro fertilization.  She had twins that went to Heaven almost immediately.  They didn't make it as far as you did.  Have you met them yet?  Please tell them that we love them and how sorry we are that we have to wait to see them.  Your mommy was told she could never conceive a baby...her tubes were blocked.  So you can imagine how surprised and thrilled we all were when we found out about you!

But God had other plans for you, much to our grief and disappointment. Your mommy and daddy, and me and your grandpa, we were all so excited about you coming along so miraculously.  Even though mommy was very fatigued and sick as most pregnant women are, she sure was thrilled about you coming along. She was happy about giving up her flat belly to make room for you.

Even though we lost you too soon, baby Rylee, you have given us joy along with our pain.  We now know that there's a chance that your mommy can have other babies.  Your daddy...well, he's amazing and he loves your mommy so much.  The process of finding out about you, then losing you, helped your parents know that they belong together.

So dear little baby Rylee, know that you were loved sight unseen, that we know we will see you in Heaven one day, and please look out for your siblings.  And please ask God to watch over your mommy as she recovers from losing you... help all of us in our grief.  I had no idea I would love you so much before I even had a chance to hold you.  I still cry sometimes, but I know God just wanted you to be with Him and it's a much better place than here.  I will love you forever.

Love, your grandma,
Linda

The Book of Me, Part 14 - My Fantasy Family Dinner Party

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.

This week's assignment builds from last week's:

If you had to hold a dinner party and could invite a maximum of 12 special people who would you invite?

This week You CAN include family.

What meals would you serve and why.

Fantastic!  Since I've been working on genealogy and specifically researching my own family tree for nearly two years now, there's people I would invite to my dinner party that I didn't know existed until recently.  I want to know so much!

Me and Grandpa, cir. 1960
Copyright Linda O'Donnell 2013 All Rights Reserved

Of course, first on the list is my beloved grandfather, Carl Johnson.  My mother was an only child of parents who divorced when she was very young, and Carl raised her on his own.  (My grandmother moved away to remarry and basically abandoned my mother.)  I want to thank him for being so loving, encouraging and kind, and tell him what a huge influence he had on my life, even though I only had him for 12 years.  I want to know more about his childhood, his life with my mother and even with my grandmother.  And to reiterate that I love him and miss him every day of my life.

The Book of Me, Part 13: Dinner Party with Special People

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.

This week’s prompt (prompt 13) is Special People / Iconic Figures

If you had to hold a dinner party and could invite a maximum of 12 special people who would you invite?

You can NOT include family in this – the special people could be famous or historical people.

What meals would you serve and why.

Perhaps include the recipe or a photo if you decided to actually cook the items!

So imagine you've won this amazing gift....the ability to invite 12 people (non-related), dead or alive, to a party.  It sounds wonderful, but it's amazing to me what kind of emotions this dredged up, many of them negative.  I'm assuming it's because I'm chronically ill and have been having lots of health issues lately, and I suspect I'm suffering from some depression, and we all know that your entire world view is impacted by that state of mind.  

However, I'm trying to shake it off and dig deep....remembering being asked a similar question in the past, and knowing that there were some people who always made my list.  I've taken off some people that I would just badger, and being the type of people they are, I doubt that their answers to any questions from me would make me feel any better, so I've removed them in an effort to make this more positive.

Know that my requirements for my guests is that speak the truth, and I have the right to send anyone home at any point in the dinner party, either because I don't like them, their answers, or whatever.  It is my house and my party, after all.  Everybody needs to play nice.
I know, without a doubt, that my first choice for a guest would be Jesus.  He is the center of my life, gives me peace and assurance, and of course, my salvation.  Everyone else would be secondary.  I sincerely doubt I would care about the presence of anyone else if He was there. But rather than turn this into a post about my religious beliefs, I'm moving on to the list of other guests, a list, which you'll see, reflects my passion for history, music, sports and some sense of morality:




George Washington  

Image courtesy of
 http://i1026.photobucket.com/albums/
y328/Brutusag84/g_washington_painting.jpg

I want to know about how you and the Founding Fathers established our government, the sacrifices you made, and to tell you how thankful I am for your integrity and dedication to our country. You were offered the title of "King," but turned it down because it went against everything they were trying to accomplish in terms of a democracy.  What do you think of where we are today? Is there hope for us?









Ronald Reagan

Image courtesy of
 http://i77.photobucket.com/albums
/j48/tuff722/Reagan.jpg

I know you made mistakes, but I admire you so much. What led you to become a Republican after years as a Democrat? I want to ask what you would do differently, what your concerns are for the USA, and if you can identify reasons why we've fallen so far as a nation, as compared to when you were in office. I'd also like to know about your and wife Nancy's love affair and how it endured.

Image Courtesy of
http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s267/mantecamisfit209/oswald.jpg

Lee Harvey Oswald
What was your real role in killing JFK? Who else was involved? What was the reason?  You don't get to stay for dinner, by the way.

Photo Courtesy of
http://i1116.photobucket.com/albums
/k569/cinda2/TheCove_0077.jpg

Billy Graham
Help me to love the Lord as much as you do, and be comfortable in sharing my faith. Tell me what you think of the current state of morality (or lack thereof), and how I should responsibly react to it. Give me advice to live a more Christ-like life--resisting temptation, making sacrifices, handling doubt. I love others, and I know that's a big deal--but I want to do more. How did you come to faith, how did you nurture it, and what do you think of today's modern churches and preachers?

Photo Courtesy of
http://i313.photobucket.com/albums/ll380/breakerd2/asdasdasd.jpg

Walter Payton
As a total Chicago Bears (NFL) football fanatic, one of the happiest days of my life was when the Bears won the Super Bowl back in the 1985 season. Walter, you were a workhorse, easily standing out as the star player with, at times, mediocre teammates.  You were denied the opportunity to score a touchdown in that Super Bowl game, a fact that coach Mike Ditka says he regrets to this day. What motivated you, Walter? Do you know how much you continue to mean to Chicago fans everywhere? Just to be in your presence would be an honor for me.  I cried the day you died and miss you to this day.

Photo Courtesy of
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/
g97/JEANRTEAGA/TOM.jpg

Tom Landry (former coach of the Dallas Cowboys)
First, I just want to tell you that although I detest the Cowboys today, when you were in charge, it was a different story.  I admired you, your integrity, your skills and your rules of conduct for your players.  Is there any hope for professional sports?  Now, they're all filled with spoiled rich kids who father countless children, commit felonies, take performance enhancing drugs, play dirty and have egos the size of Texas.  How did it get this way, what would you do, and should I give up on sports?  I'm about ready to.

Photo courtesy of
http://i597.photobucket.com/albums/tt52/
aniipiixfanmermaiid/the_beatles.jpg

The Beatles
To provide the entertainment.  And I'd ask all of you, how did you get your creative motivation?  Are you sorry you broke up? How much did fame change you, and would you do things differently, knowing what you know now?  What do you think of today's music and musicians (for some we use that term rather loosely)?  Please perform "Something," "Yesterday," "In My Life," and "If I Fell" for me, would you please?  You guys are the bomb.  If you're still full of yourselves, however, you don't get dessert.

I thought about including some of today's political leaders but I'm so unhappy with the way they are running our government that I thought it would ruin the party.  Suffice it to say, Mr. President and Congress, administration members (i.e. Secretary of State), foreign leaders, etc., the only conversation you would get from me would be filled with rage and accusations, so I've left you off the guest list.  You're not listening to me or any of the people of this country anyway.

I'm not cooking.  I'll find a good caterer and get some good stuff brought in.  Paul McCartney--I'll make sure there is a fine vegan meal for you.  Better yet,  Jesus could just turn a basket full of fish and bread into a gourmet meal and turn some water into wine.  (He's done that kind of thing before.)  We'll be all set.  But, after re-reading my list, I think I just need guest number 1.  He could answer all the questions anyway (since He is omniscient) and then I wouldn't be limited to any topic.  So in addition to the questions I had for my guests, I'd ask this burning question: Will the Chicago Cubs ever win the World Series again?  1908 was their last championship.  Witnesses to that event are long gone. My late grandfather was 5...so realistically, I knew no one who was there when it happened.  I keep trying to tell myself I don't care, but deep down, I do.  My fellow long-suffering Cub fans can relate.  But of course, there are more important things in life than the Cubs, which is why I invited the guests I did.  I think it will be a great party!  I want to see George Washington dance to the Beatles....

The Book of Me, Part 10: Unexplained Memories

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net for more information.

This week's assignment:

The continuation of the 15 month, weekly writing project about my life and memories, created by Julie Goucher.
This week’s (Week 10) prompt is Unexplained Memories

Do you have an unexplained memory or memories?
Items
Places
People

Things and times you can remember, but you are not sure where they fit into your past.

Wow, another hard one.

The first thing that pops into my head when addressing this assignment is the image of my father, standing in the doorway of my bedroom one night, the lit end of his cigarette glowing in the dark.  I am pretending to be asleep, so that he will leave.  There were times when his alcoholism would get the best of him and he'd drag me out of bed for a beating, so I guess that's why this memory has stayed with me.  It was a volatile household, at the mercy of my father's wild mood swings, so we always held our breath, waiting for something to happen.  But, Dad didn't drag me out of bed frequently (only a few times that I specifically recall), so I'm not sure why I remember this incident.  I have no memory of anything happening other than my father just standing there.  I shared a room with my sister, so I'm fairly certain there was nothing of a more sinister nature associated with it.  I don't know how old I was, but I do know it was after we moved into our second house, so I was at least 8.  I'm sure Freud would have something to say about this, but I think it was just a coincidence that I happened to be awake one night when my father popped his head in to check on us.

What's weird is that this triggers another memory, one that I do remember so vividly.  I guess it's because it involves me being in bed at night. It was July 1970. Our beloved Grandpa had been out for a visit the previous weekend to celebrate the Fourth of July.  My brother was in bed in his room, and I in mine, both lying awake when we heard the phone ring at about 9:30 pm.  We heard our mother cry out, "Oh no!" and knew instinctively that something was wrong.  I don't know which one of us said it, but we wondered aloud, "Do you think it could be Grandpa?"  Deep down, we knew it probably was, but we really didn't want to go downstairs and find out.  We wanted to sleep one more night believing that Grandpa was still with us.  In the morning, we found out that the very thing we were dreading was true...Grandpa had died from a massive heart attack.  My brother and I remember that night so vividly--what was playing on the television (Hawaii Five-0), the time, the tone of our mother's voice, and that sense of foreboding we both had regarding the loss of our sweet Grandpa.  Life would never be the same.  I think for both me and my brother, it changed our view of the world, forever. 

I can't think of anything that I haven't figured out an explanation for, or a complete story to go with.   I have questions about things I remember, but alas, no one to answer them for me.  I just need to leave those in the past.

Why I'm Researching my Family Origins

credit below

The word "dysfunctional" has become so overused these days that it ceases to carry the impact it was originally intended to convey.  I was raised in one of those dysfunctional households; one that was so turbulent that even now, in my mid-50's, I cannot tolerate watching people in conflict on TV, because it triggers memories of the volatile atmosphere of my childhood.  Unfortunately, even in adulthood, the overall health of the family relationships did not improve, but what I got out of it was that I knew I didn't want to be like them, and I think I succeeded in that desire.

I started on a genealogy project for the daughter of a dear friend as a wedding present, and found myself fascinated not only by the work itself, but also the stories of the people--how they met their spouses, what motivated them to immigrate to the United States, the roles they might have played in their communities, and the tragedies they endured in trying to build their own version of the American dream.  In spite of the fact that my parents weren't Ozzie and Harriet (i.e. "ideal" for you younger readers), I wanted to know more about my family's origins.  Perhaps my research might lead me to a better understanding of how they became the people they were, how they were influenced by their own parents and life events.  I've always loved history, and having the ability to discover even a little bit about my ancestry is very compelling to me.  Perhaps I can gain some insight as to why my family was, shall we say, not like the Brady Bunch.

Many researchers are fortunate enough to have a lot of information available to them before they even start on their family trees.  Not me.  Here's what I knew when I started:

• Dad's birth date and location
• Moms' birth date and location
• Their marriage date and location
• Maternal grandparents' birth dates, one location
• Paternal grandparents' names and general date of death

I also knew my dad had a sister, my aunt.  They had a disagreement when I was ten or eleven, and due to my father, I didn't see her, my uncle, or my six cousins until this summer, 45 years later.  (More on that later.)  That's all I knew.  It's not much.  I also knew that my maternal grandfather's parents came from Sweden.   My maternal grandmother was born in Denmark and came over at age two.  But the bad part on both of them was their surnames--Johnson and Jensen.  These are so ridiculously common that it has made my research very difficult.  But, I never back away from a challenge, so I will press onward.  I know the journey itself is going to be as rewarding as reaching the final destination!



(Picture courtesy of freedigitaldownloads.net;  David Castillo Dominici, published on 08 October 2012
Stock Photo - image ID: 100105897

The Book of Me, Written by Me, Part 2

This is my entry prompted by The Book of Me, Written By You project created by Julie Goucher of the Anglers Rest blog. The concept: a series of blogging and writing prompts that help family historians capture their own memories and write about themselves. Go to http://www.anglers-rest.net  for more information.]

Prompt 2: Your Birth

• Do you have any baby photos?
• Where were you born?
• Who was present at your birth?
• Dimensions?
• What day was it? Time?
• Did you have hair? Eye colours
• Are you a twin?

My answers:

There are many photos of me since I am the first born and was the first grandchild on my maternal side.

I was born in Chicago, in the Near North neighborhood, not far from what is now called Wrigleyville.  (That must have been a factor in my irrational support of the Cubs for many years.)

My mother was there, although she had been given "ether," an anesthetic, so she wasn't as active a participant as most mothers are these days.  But, she was crucial in the process!  My dad was pacing outside the hospital, throwing up.  He never could handle hospitals.

I'm not sure what my exact dimensions were, but around 7-1/2 pounds.  Pretty average.  On time, too, I think.  It was an early Monday morning, on a rainy fall day in October.

My eyes were blue until about age 3 (now they are green), and I had brown hair that turned blonde when I was a youngster.  Now my blonde comes from a bottle. (Thank goodness for Lady Clairol!)

Not a twin.  A brother and sister came later, though.